Open Space...

On life... We only see the opposites in the ironies of life, we seldom acknowledge the "in-betweens" which is the sanctuary of maturity that which eventually bears the fruit of wisdom... _______________________ On loosing faith on oneself... Lately I become cynical over things I'm painfully sarcastic about, ostentatious on circumstances complementing on what i perceive to be imperative. Like a leaf wavering in the air after it fell from a tree, the wind perceptively becoming my captain bringing me to ambiguity, transparently loosing my ground. _______________________ On uncertainties The oblivion lingers my head. Trudging a voyager to wander about in the abyss of wisdom. Wondering how this incurable insanity appearing in a lucid dream becomes an existence which is apparently an illusion. _______________________ On helplessness... Murmuring inside is an emphaty to heed the call of the mute, each word subdues his own propinquity, inexplicably desiring to pierce the adversar...

photo credit Hay naku, nakalimutan ko nang magblog. Last post ko dito noong May pa. Wala lang akong ganang magsulat. Mahirap kasi situasyon ko ngayon, maraming iniisip. May mga bagay na gustong mong gawin pero hindi mo magawa-gawa kasi may mga bagay pa na mas importante dito. Minsan nagtatanong narin ako kung importante ba talaga ang mga bagay na pinagtutuunan ko ng pansin. Pero napagtanto ko naman na importante ito - ang isipin muna ang iba bago ang sarili. Konting tiis lang siguro. Napaka unfair naman ng Dios kung mananatali nalang ako sa ganitong sitwasyon panghabang-buhay e halos buong buhay namin eh nasa katayuang sapat na o minsan ay salat talaga. Minsan nagtatampo narin ako sa Kanya. Kahit wala akong karapatang magtampo pero ginagawa ko narin. Wala syang magagawa kasi eto ang feelings ko sa Kanya. At alam ko na naiintindihan Nya ako - sana nga. Hanggang dito nalang at ako'y walang ganang magsulat.

Hahay, kuyaw gyud ning kinabuhi, usahay dili ka kasabot. Lisod tugkaron. Daghang mga pangutana. Daghan kaayong mga panghitabo nga makapalibog. Bisag ako nakapangutana na sa akong kaugalingon. Daghan kaayo ko ug pangandoy sa akong kaugalingon ug sa akong pamilya. Pero mura man dili mi magkasinabot sa akong pangandoy. Sa tinuod lang, usahay makapangutana ko sa Ginoo kung ngano ingon ini man ang akong/among kapalaran. Kitang tanan gusto nga mahimong maayo ang kahimtang sa kinabuhi. Gusto nato nga himsog atong panglawas, walay sakit, naay maayong panimalay, maayo ang pamilya, walay gubot, nakapahuman ug eskwela ang mga anak, malinawon ug haruhay nga pagpuyo. Basta ang basic needs makab-ot lang, pwede na. So far makaingon ko nga maayo man among pamilya, although dili mi open sa among mga gibati sa usa't-usa pero makasulti ko nga ang gugma nagpatigbabaw gyud. Bisag pobre ra mi pero maayo man among relasyon sa usag-usa ug sa ubang tao. Pero lagi, aduna pud baya miy mga butang nga gikinah...

kapag nananatiling bulag ang puso sa kalayaan na nais nitong matamasa, at pilit mo itong nililinlang sa mga kasinungalingan ng pagka-imbot, pagbabalatkayo at pagkagahaman, hinding-hindi mo makakamit ang ninanais mong kaligayahan...magparaya ka...maging bukas ka...

A friend of mine who just graduated from a theological school here in Manila sent a message on my mobile phone asking me to pray for him for his final decision to embrace a religious life perpetually. "Bro pls pray 4 me. yes or no ba me sa buhay relihiyoso." What can i say? I believe religious life is a gift. It is something that is given to you by God just like any other vocations - single blessedness and married life. None of these vocations supersede the other, these are equal calling from God. And this guy is responding to the call of becoming a priest. Was the text expressing his confusion? Can he make that decision? Or maybe he just want my prayer. I would be happy if he's confused. It only shows how serious he is in whatever life ahead of him. This will make him think over and over to a lifetime decision he has to make. We need priests right now, and not just priests, but good priests. And i just hope he will be able to go over and reflect his vocation story. It i...

Am I running out of passion on music? I guess not and hopefully not. But every time i pick up "eng2x" (my violin) and think of practicing the piece composed by Pachelbel that I promised to master this year, my hands are suddenly tied up and loosing its grip on the fingerboard. I've always wanted to be a good instrumentalist to my favorite stringed instrument but I failed. It's been three years since i bought it and until now i can't even finished book II of the Suzuki method, too bad. Poor "Mr. Time," he always falls prey to my conventional scape goat which is "i don't have time to practice." Ever since I was a child, the typical sound of this instrument have always been like a lullaby for me. I like its music because it feels like the notes are physically coming out from within every time you play it. It's dredging up those emotions that have been long hidden from uncertainties and letting it soar as if everything else is freedom. The ...