Open Space...

I started blogging since 2007 and as the years go by I started to feel like not writing at all. Sometimes if not always, I feel lazy in-between years and so maintaining this blog wasn't plausible and I wasn't really consistent, except for laziness. I was never a writer, nor aiming to be one. I did this blogging just to express my feelings. I am an introvert person. I love to be on my own, where I don't have to worry about people around me. Blogging is one way of communicating to the outside world, outside of myself. I would rather have a quality time with a dog than to spend a lot of time with people. I used to have one and I would love to have a dog right now but in my current situation, I find it hard to get one. So sad. And so I decided to write again because there is a need for me to somehow express how I feel. It's been quite a time since all the feelings have been kept inside of me. Perhaps this longing to be heard is somewhat brought by the pandemic and the quara...

With the recent Yolanda typhoon calamity, one question stands out - "Why?" Why do we have to suffer like this? Why the death of my beloved ones? Why us Lord? Why…? Why…? Why…? I will not attempt to know how these victims of calamity formulated their questions because I was not there when the typhoon strike nor try to answer their question because I’m not God. I would rather see the process of communication between a God and His people. Pope Francis encouraged us to ask why to God. He simply explains how this question would draw God’s attention to his children. He likened the situation to a child asking his parents about almost anything with a “why”. The pope said "the child does not wait for an answer from his father or mother." rather the child will add-up more and will never stops asking and asking. This is one way of seeking attention from his/her parents – and with our brothers and sisters who were affected by the recent typhoon, an attention from God....

A Cipher I Wish To Become. I wish I was more of a fool, Whose only happiness is to make folly my desires; Nonsense to which I assented my ego, To err the only decency I fondled. I wish I was more of a coward, Whose only dismay is I myself being a hero; A morsel of gallantry is scattered, Losing the identity of a knight errant. I hate it when I become so enthused, With the thing most of the people hate; Or perhaps I am just so fond of pretensions, Candidly spoiling the inceptive of sanity. I hate it when the heart's debacle is unmasked, Becoming too mundane to obscure; Dragging me to the abyss of deception, Desperately seeking for my lost soul. What can I be to you? A scoundrel perhaps? A naught would be much appalling too; It gives me no option for bliss, Nor the dire longing for a kiss. I walk leaving with no trace. Head held up like a king with no crown; Wide enough my kingdom it may seem, My queen I lost, my treasure I wasted. How can I get ...

This is not anymore the question of who will be the next Bishop of Rome (although a i love the see Fr. Chito in the balcony of St. Peter giving his blessings after the Cardinal Protodeacon announces the famous "habemus Papam") but rather the question of the capability of the chosen Pope to address the issues that the Church is facing nowadays: Growing secularism and apathy especially in Europe and America; Sex abuse issues; Religious persecutions especially in non-christian nation; Declining number of priests and faithfuls; Rising clamor for women ordination and priest allowing to be married; and the famous Vatileaks (divisiveness, corruption, etc. in the Curia) and so on and so forth. Let's see what the Holy Spirit has to offer on the Second day of the conclave and the following days to come (although, most likely the white smoke will be illusive on the second day and even on the third day). My Prayers... -melskiens-

Lazy blogger here. I only posted just one entry last year. Can't seem to find a good experience worthy of sharing here in my blog. I can't find a single event which i considered the most unforgettable one for 2012. Yes, another year have passed and all I can say is that i'm getting older and older (my age is still in the calendar, though). I just recently celebrated my birthday this week. And looking back at my life, I am trying to sort out the things happened to me. 2009 when I started my life outside. I envisioned myself then that i will be successful and will be able to conquer my fears and eventually would become a better person that is mature and ready to stand whatever lifetime decisions i will be making. Now, year 2013, I don't know where I am, or I don't know if i failed. Was my vision feasible or was I dreaming too much of myself then? Yes, I was dreaming of becoming one of the performers in an orchestra playing my violin, having a Managerial posit...

Almost forgot i have a blog here. Its been months since my last entry was. There hasn't been any significant event I've experienced lately but only dullness. So this was probably the reason why i can't find even a single thought in my barren mind to start with. I was living my life one day at a time just like any other ordinary man consuming his life on earth. To describe my feelings, here are some of my musings that deeply reflect where i am and what i have become these days. There isn't much glow in-between the lines, only bleakness and blahs. Kinda related to the last entry i have. (Don't you think this is the best way to start writing again in my blog?) -------------- (On love...) It pains me knowing i can't have her, not in my time. However, it is even worst than pain knowing she's becoming indifferent for unknown reason. It is like stripping me of a little smile left in my heart. ------ I can't just have her. And it can never be happened ...