Welcome 2013!!!

Lazy blogger here. I only posted just one entry last year. Can't seem to find a good experience worthy of sharing here in my blog. I can't find a single event which i considered the most unforgettable one for 2012. Yes, another year have passed and all I can say is that i'm getting older and older (my age is still in the calendar, though). I just recently celebrated my birthday this week. And looking back at my life, I am trying to sort out the things happened to me.

2009 when I started my life outside. I envisioned myself then that i will be successful and will be able to conquer my fears and eventually would become a better person that is mature and ready to stand whatever lifetime decisions i will be making. Now, year 2013, I don't know where I am, or I don't know if i failed. Was my vision feasible or was I dreaming too much of myself then? Yes, I was dreaming of becoming one of the performers in an orchestra playing my violin, having a Managerial position in an international NGO. I'm dreaming of learning three or even more foreign languages. Having my Masteral Degree outside the country. Able to built a House, and many more. And looking at these dreams, i would say i'm like a bat in the bellfry!

Yeah, call me one. It's OK. Anyway, it's true. Crazy because didn't do to make those things a fact of reality. I have a violin but i didn't pratice. I want to work in an NGO (international) but i didn't applied. I enrolled myself in a Korean language school at Korean Cultural Center but i didn't continue. Now i'm currently studying Spanish but sometimes I'm sluggish and skip my classes. I've searched scholarship grants in the internet but no lap of luxury. I'm also skeptical because academically, i'm just a so-so. All the scholarships i've searched on the web are looking only for those Einstein-brainlike students and individuals or those who-made-significant-contributions-to-society can get the scholarships. Hindrances, name it, not to mention, my lack of time, money and resources. I'm also tide-up with my family who is asking for my support financially. Blah, blah, blah. I don't even have time for LOVE! hmmm, what is love, anyway?

I'm already at the stage of Young Adulthood that's according to Erikson's stages of psychosocial development (ages bet. 20-24, or 20-40 years). It is about Intimacy vs. Isolation. And if you asked me right now to choose between Intimacy vs Isolation, I would prefer Isolation. Now, does this makes me immature? Nah, leave it to Erikson.
Currently i'm becoming familiar with isolation. This maybe delineate as negative as oppose to intimacy but it is not about branding your life but rather on how you create your own life according to your heart's fervor. Intimacy is important, but i guess time won't allow me or maybe there is this desire still in my heart to embrace a different vocation, an Intimacy with God. Who knows?

At present, I'm setting some short term goals. As i mentioned, I'm currently studying Spanish at Instituto Cervantes. I'm now at level seven. Ahora puedo hablar y entender a español un poco pero nesecito studiar mucho. I still hate it when laziness calls my attention. I know that learning a language will open you to a wider horizon and this should push me through. I'm hoping that this year, i will be able to get a new job with the new learning i will have. I'm into trading at Stock Market as well. You probably think i'm already rich since I'm into stock trading/investing but you are wrong. This is also my concept before that whenever I hear or encounter the word Stock Market, then you must be very rich/a millionaire or you own a company. I was actually looking for a scheme where in I can maximize my money and will have a better returns. I was thinking of putting up a business but it didn't work. I came across at a forum about Stock Market and based on what I've discovered, you don't have to be a millionaire for you to be able to play in Stock Market. There i started my research and studied about its nature. After I gained confidence, I decided to venture into buying and selling shares. Eventually, I opened an account with an online stoke broker (COL FINANCIAL) with a minimum of 5000PhP. Right now i already have a 25% increase/gain in my portfolio. It entails high risk but you can actually minimize it by constantly educating yourself and openly learning the ups and downs of the market. Hopefully i can earn my first million and when it comes, expect me to resign at my job effective immediately.

My 2013 Chinese zodiac sign prediction told me that I am really not that lucky compared to those who were born in the year of the Dog and the Dragon. However, I am still optimistic this year of the Water Snake and hopefully i can sustain this positive attitude. Still i'm recognizing my shortcomings and this should not hold me back, but rather will psych me up in attaining what i want to accomplish.

I guess i should write more often here this year. I miss writting. I'm not a type of person who share openly with someone face to face. Whenever i want to express my feelings, I sometimes draw, paint, sing, play instrument, write a poem and blog. And i haven't done these things lately. And now is the right time to open myself again. It's good to breathe new life into yourself. It's good to be back in blogging.
It's good to welcome the year 2013 positively!



-melskiens-