Open Space...

i am just here in the inserted community house facing this computer. i guess i'll be staying here for the rest of the day, its raining outside. i feel like sleeping but i doubt if i can really fall asleep, maybe i should try... -melskiens-

my mind as of the moment is stagnant. ideas are already mounted on my mind but i don't know how to go about it. do i have to wait for someone to push me on what i have to do? nah, nothing.... i'm just sleepy....!!! have a good night sleep... God Bless!!!

It is almost a decade since I entered in the Carmelite formation. Many great things happened to me and I am very grateful to these. It was clear to me then why I entered in the seminary. It is because of my desire to be a priest and to be of service to the people. These were molded from my experiences since I was a child and part of it was the guide of my parents and some people whom I happened to met along my journey. I’m happy that until today my family is still there with me in my journey in Carmel. College formation life has its own dynamics if I were to compare it to where I am now. Being a college with a young mind and almost with the people of same age, you are always filled with awe, wonders and curiosities. I used these as my opportunity to grow and to be mature in my formation process. True enough that I graduated and made myself ready for the next challenging stage of formation in the Carmelites – the Postulancy.. When I was still in the college formation, I heard...

“If anyone wants to be the first, he must be the very last and make himself the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35) I find this quotation very interesting. Not because it is coming from the verses of the Bible but more so on the value it portrays to us. But how could this be? How can we do that? These are probable questions that would rise up confronting this line of phrase. It is ideal I would say and seldom is it being done in our own experiences. Nobody would want to. Nobody understands. A politician during the campaign, getting hold of the microphone, often sounds like clashing cymbals when he/she started to be on the stage. Service is the most corrupted, abused and misused word during those none sense talk in the election time. The sad thing, many believe. My stay in Baranggay Saysain, Bagac, Bataan offers me a different view of what leader is all about. Maybe because it wasn’t election time during our stay there. Moreover, our group, composed of my other three classmates, were actuall...

this morning i attended the Holy Spirit Mass at ICTC (Inter-Congregational Theological Center) - my theology school. there i was able to see my batch mates. they have no knowledge about my plan of having an intervention year as i saw this as a good venue for my growth in the process of my formation... we elected a new set of officers as my term as vice president of the (I-SEC) ICTC-Student Executive Council and the rest of the officers has just ended. i'm going to miss them. probably by the time i'll be back to my studies, they are already ordained deacons or maybe some are already solemn professed friars. i guess things are going to be that way. i have no regrets after all, for i know this could help a lot in discerning things ahead of me. -melskiens-

i'm happy with my community integration in Escalante, very opposite from what i have expected before going there. i enjoyed the company of the community members, of course not all are happy moments. there was one situation where i was scolded by one priest there in which he had a very shallow reason in doing so. why can't he just talk to me in a calm voice? i'm not a stupid after all who can't understand things. he's so arrogant, no wonder many people there like him so much... especially when he has to leave the place for a new assignment..and good luck for the people there in his new assignment... i got my inspiration with the people there, i had a beautiful experience with the carmel youth and i thank them for the warm welcome they showed me... i'm looking forward of going back there soon... just a couple of hours ago before i sat on this computer, i happened to talk to my formators. 'twas about my plan of taking a rest in the academic concerns of the form...

i heard that i'll be assigned in Escalante, Negros Occidental for two months. this is part of our summer program for the third years like my self. it is called community integration. i don't feel excited about it, maybe because i'm burn out of the busy schedules i have lately and that i wanted to take a rest even for just one month staying in a quite place. i was thinking of going to ormoc where we have our pilgrim site there. its best suited for me i suppose. i want to be in a place where there are no traffic, pollution, noise, and the like. i want to go to a place where i can rest my mind of the schedules and the daily routine i do here. i want to be myself alone and reflect on the experiences i had and feel the presence of God. its quite a time since i had a quality time to God and hopefully this time i can stop the ticks of the clock and spend time with Him. well, hopefully i can appeal to them to consider my request. after all, it's for my own good.